and so, we wait

I’m sure this isn’t the last time I will end up having to wait for something in this whole great, long, draw-out cancer episode, but anyone who knows me, knows that I am, sometimes, a very patient person, until I’m not.

So, the current deal is, my red blood cell count is/was too low to do my 7th chemo treatment and I got told to go home and get better or something.
I’ve been at home for almost a week now, and it turns out that I am now ‘on the waiting list’ for chemo for this week and hopefully they can squish me in later this week, probably Friday, but hey, who knows?

I think I may personify the expression ‘mixed feelings’ right now.

On one hand I am so tired of feeling crappy and I am kind of delighted that I am not in my predictable downward spiral right now (since I should have had chemo last week.)
On the other hand, I am so close to the finish line and I just want to be done so I can get on with my life and with growing back my eyebrows (yes, my eyebrows… and my eyelashes and all the hair on my pointy little head.)
But on the other hand, which doesn’t exist on mere mortals, I don’t really have the jam to get knocked down again right now.
But I sure would like to be done…

Anyway, it seems that the chemo floor has turned into its own equivalent to a 5 star restaurant and I have to wait for them to call me and say when they will have my table by the window, overlooking the roof-top garden.
And so I wait.