Looking back

Somewhere along the line, I think it was in October, my oncologist was away at a conference and we met with a different oncologist, and she has a bit of a different style than my regular guy.
One of the things she said was that I needed to understand that, even though I was completely chomping at the bit to be finished the chemo, a lot of people experience a real crash after the chemo.
As she said, it was during that period of time that they start to reflect on what they have just gone through.
I thought that was worthwhile info at the time but I couldn’t imagine not being elated every second of every day in my post-chemo survivorship days.
And now I am in them.
And I am not depressed, but sometimes I do struggle to make sense of what just happened to me and my happy little life.
And I don’t mean that as a complaint, because really, all things considered, I think I was really lucky in lots of ways and really well taken care of on so many levels.
I don’t feel like complaining about the chemo days because I know I could have had it so much worse.
Still… it’s a lot to make sense of.
And sometimes I don’t even know where to begin.
Maybe if it was all over and I got a blue ribbon and a pat on the back and a guarantee of no more cancer ever.
Right now I am in a sort of limbo, at least that’s how I feel sometimes.
Still, it beats laying around popping steroids and watching my hair fall out by a long shot.

The really good news is a lot of the things I lost while I was doing chemo are coming back.
I think in the next couple of weeks I will be able to go out in public without covering up my stubbly little head.
I am pretty pleased about that.

I pretty much have full feeling in my feet and hands now.
I had neuropathy from the chemo, which is a really common side effect. Now it is almost completely gone.

And my “chemo brain” has been almost eliminated. I think.
Well, suffice to say that my memory is way better than it was a month or two ago, though it probably isn’t perfect now and who knows if it will ever be.
Still, happy to have made some progress on that.

And my veins are coming back.
They pretty much got corroded into oblivion during the chemo and poked to bits with the constant bloodwork.
I am pretty happy to see them making their way back.

Okay, kiddies, it’s time for this post-chemo cowpoke to saddle up the pj’s and bunk down for the night.

Later…